I'm not going to lie it's currently 2:18am on a Saturday night and I have my headphones in with Taylor Swift blasting and I've just filled an A4 page with ideas for this blog post, so in my slightly sleep deprived state I'm going to try and write out all my points in hopes they make sense so future me who has to come back and proof read this won't have much to do - apologies future me.

As it's beyond past my bedtime I'm going to say I feel a bit sassy tonight and if the odd swear word or words slip into this post I apologise in advance if it offends you but sure I'll go back to PG me in my next blog post : )

So here are just some of the things my 2am mind decided to let me know I don't understand at my age.

General Adulting things - So you're going to be shocked a little and will more than likely shake your head but like cooking is not my thing, nor has it ever been nor do I see it being in the near future, in my opinion there ain't nothing wrong with a microwave dish from M&S (true story, try their four cheese ravioli in tomato sauce dish it's all I've eaten for lunch the past two weeks) I mean pop it in the microwave for no more than four minutes and bam you've got yourself some food OR get on the just eat app and bam you've got yourself a person at your door delivering you food. I mean my attitude right now is if they don't have to cook a meal in the Big Bang Theory why should I!?
Taxes like ugh why, I get paid monthly and I swear the tax mans ear must be burning for the amount of times I bitch about him when I check my payslip every month. Another thing is bills, like luckily I don't have very many bills in actual fact I have three, my dogs subscription box, my Spotify subscription and my Netflix subscription but in my mind they're bills! Like why does everything I love want to take my money every month *rolls eyes* I realise I don't have much of a leg to stand on with this point but I'm still going to whinge about it! Making appointments for yourself or just in general talking to somebody you don't know on the phone...how do people do it without having precisely 5 panic attacks? Legit if I'm asked to make a phone call in work I will go and find somebody who's more adult than I am and ask if they'll do it for me #truestory. 

Money - okay so at this stage in life I feel like I'll never figure this one out. I don't seem to see the value in money like no really it's bad I could get paid on Monday and be broke by Wednesday of the same week and I get paid monthly like! I literally just cannot save money to save my life and I believe in the whole ''treat yo'self'' thing a little more than anybody should. Like I literally do not know how people can go shopping, see something they like and have the will power to not buy it there and then, I bought a €250 bag just two weeks ago because it was 'pretty and I deserve to treat myself' like y'all see my problem yet? And as if it's not bad enough that I can't save I also have a blooming credit card?! Legit don't ask how that happened but I damn the person who approved me for it like thanks mate for believing in me and all that jazz but man was it a bad idea.

"Adults" - I put that in quotation marks because the adults I'm referring too are the people you grew up with or went to school with. WHY and HOW are these people WHO ARE YOUR AGE married with a house and children and an amazing career and just what happened? Like I swear if they're not already married they're engaged or pregnant or going on a two week romantic holiday to the Maldives. Like seriously I can just be bored scrolling down my Facebook feed and something will pop up about someone I haven't spoke to or heard about in years and you'll read more into it and suddenly you're three years deep into Facebook posts and photos and feel like you went through every life step with them. While certain things won't make me envious in anyway shape or form (babies not my thing right now) I don't understand how these people at my age have their whole life together while I'm sat on my bed surrounded by Disney teddies rolling my eyes at Netflix asking if I'm still watching. 

Shaving - Jesus Christ I still cannot shave my legs without cutting myself at least three times and why is razor burn still a thing, it's 2018 people shouldn't this be a thing of the past cause fuck it's an irritating little bitch. Like I don't know how many times I've watched 'How to avoid Razor Burn' Youtube videos for them all to still not help me in any way possible. Also while on the subject of razors dear god why are they so bloody expensive. Like the price of blades alone make me want to just become the next Godzilla because I could spend €30 I pay for them on a Dominos and I know which one I'd much rather. 

Periods - My god I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this one, it's been years since I've been dealing with this little bitch yet I still can't figure out when it's going to arrive every month. Literally it seems to just pop up at times where I'd really rather it not and its just like hahaha surprise bitch miss me *thinks of Emma Roberts gif* Let's not even talk about the pain because I swear I'd rather not think about it. Like I'm glad I'm not pregnant and all but can you try to not be an annoying little fuck and just piss off already? Surely that's not too much to ask.

Age - Does anybody else have random panic attacks over the fact that you're turning a certain age and then you tell somebody and their like oh stop you're only a baby....like no I'm not I'm here having a panic I want you to agree with me not go against me. I genuinely think I freak out about this way more than I should because at the age I am now when I was younger I thought I'd have my shit together at this stage of my life but nope lol guess not.
Also anti-ageing products what the hell like am I supposed to be using them now, is there an age chart somewhere that tells me when I should start using things because I'm so confused. 

Socialising vs Nights Out - Here's where I sound old, while some in their twenties like to spend their weekends out in nightclubs drinking and doing whatever else it is ya'll do I like to be at home, in my own company with snacks and Netflix. I am actually an 80 year old cat lady.. just without the cats and instead a guinea pig, bunny and husky. Like I know I'm not the only one who prefers this but like how do people have the energy to socialise with people after a week of working ESPECIALLY if you work in retail like I legit want to get as far away as I can from people on my weekends off. 

Relationships - I'm talking the friendships and romantic kinds like dear god when did we all get so complicated and ridiculous. There's so many times I've just given up on someone because I just emotionally cannot be bothered anymore. Remember the times when you were 6 and the first person you laid your eyes on was your new best friend I liked them times can I go back to that please? And as for everything else I've just given up. Lets just say Dua Lipa New Rules is the soundtrack to my life. 

The Butterfly Effect - Is this a real thing because I've spent many sleepless nights researching it and frankly I'm intrigued and scared af. Like you're telling me little decisions I made when I was 18 have impacted how my life has turned out today. I often find myself daydreaming of these things like imagine if you picked a different secondary school over the one you went too, how different would your life be? Or what about the one that got away if a question was answered differently would things be different? These are the things that keep me up at night and I swear sometimes I've decided how my whole life would have planned out if I had done things differently throughout the years. 

Family Reunions - There is no way that it's just me that is sick of all the 'so wheres your boyfriend' 'why do you not have a fella' 'when are you going to have babies' questions from older relatives when you're all forced to meet up somewhere. Like dear god somebody pass me another glass of wine pronto. Like sorry long lost distant relative who's name I don't even know that my love life is non existent right now, hope it doesn't upset your life too much. *grunts*
As for babies okay so when people ask me about this my current comment is I don't want children, now please tell me why people freak out at this comment. I apologise for not wanting to take care of another human it's not my fault animals are my choice over all that like calm yo'self.

Retail Customers - Jesus Christ give me a moment to conduct myself a power point about why middle aged women and cute old ladies are actually the spawn of Satan. Why are people so blooming rude to retail workers like I've legit never been so unhappy in a job sector than I have been while working in retail. Like some times it takes all my strength in the world to not answer somebody back who's throwing abuse at me over something out of my control and telling them to just fuck off. Like dear god I understand that we all have bad days but manners are not hard, if a cashier says hi ANSWER THEM BACK BECAUSE YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN THEM YOU RUDE PIECE OF SHIT!
Legit I've never met a more arrogant rude bunch of people in my life. I'm going to stop there before I get sacked.

And that's where I'm going to leave it because quite frankly I pity myself who's not sleep deprived having to read over this and fix all my mistakes. Although I'm sure there's a lot more things in the world that I don't understand but as of right now 11 different things seem to be a good number to stop at.

Let me know if you agree with any of these points or if I'm just dramatic af