There's no doubt about it that I love my job and profession. However there's a few things you constantly hear or are asked while working in a salon and I decided to share a few with you today!

Lets start with things I hear while I'm washing peoples hair...

Do you know Paddy, you know Paddy well let me tell you something! I was out with Paddy the other day and we bumped into Margaret and you know Margaret! Well let me just tell you I'd say he ran home and called John up to tell him he saw her outside Pennys waiting for someone!
Firstly no, I don't know any of these people but it makes me laugh how because Clients have maybe mentioned this person before I should basically now know where they were born and where they live and basically their whole life story! You hear some funny stories and tales though while washing someones hair and you can't help but have a giggle!

Instead of using normal shampoo can you use Volumising shampoo on my hair thanks!
Okay so even though I tell you as a client 'yes of course no problem!' you can bet your bottom I am using regular shampoo to wash your hair, not because I'm a mean person but because 99% of salons just refill their fancy looking bottles with product from a gigantic 8 litre bottle of Shampoo that was bought from Salon Services. Every salon I've worked in so far does this exact thing and no matter how nice we are or how many little white lies we tell you, were just doing our job and using the shampoo in the fancy bottle whatever it may be!

As a non coffee drinker asking people if they'd like a cup of Tea or Coffee does be a nightmare, I'm sure the coffee I make tastes like tar because I have no idea what I'm doing however when it come's to asking if they take Milk or Sugar I've never heard such precise answers in my life! 

Yes dear I'd love a cup of coffee with milk and a quarter sugar please!
I'm sorry what? A quarter sugar....What the hell do you think I am a person working at Starbucks? I apologize for my dreadful measuring skills but the coffee you just finished contained a spoonful of sugar and you didn't leave a drop! 

Moving onto answering the phone is probably one of the most surprising things as you're not sure what to expect, I've been asked numerous amounts of times such things as

I need an appointment for first thing Monday morning, have you anything after 12?'
This confuses the hell out of me because here I am offering you the times I have before 11 but you insist on something midday?! Like please explain this

'I was wondering if I could make an appointment for 3:00 for a wash, cut and blowdry. I have a Doctors appointment at 3:20 will I be finished by then?'
Really like seriously what is the point? Wouldn't you be afraid if someone could wash, cut and blowdry your hair in 20 minutes because I would be terrified of the results! I promise I will be kind to you on the phone but in my mind I'm facepalming.

'How much is it for a full head of highlights? What about a full body massage? Do you have colour bombs? How much is a full head of extensions? Is a dry cut cheaper than a normal cut? What about if I was to just get my roots done? Alright can I just book in for a wash and blowdry'
Please tell me why you had to ask for the price list when you booked in for the most normal thing for a salon? 

and finally one of my favourites

'I want a total change of style but can you only cut half an inch off as I want to keep the same length'
Dear lord give me patience. Really!!?? How are you going to get a total different haircut if all you want cut is half an inch off the length of your hair? Excuse me while I go sing Patience by Take That to myself 

Honestly I could probably go on and on but let's leave it here before you all think I'm a horrible person!

Are you guilty of saying any of these phrases while in the Salon?